My 5 Better-Halves!

A German saying goes like so – ‘ Du bist auf die Erde allein gekommen’. Literally translated it means ‘you were born alone’ (so be prepared to spend your life alone).
Well, this particular German must have been one sour bugger, so I will reject his lousy philosophy.

Let me tell you the story of 6 little eggs that did hatch separately, but found each other as soon as they could walk. And they stuck together even after they learnt to fly.

If you locked a bull in a china shop, and threw in an elephant and a troll, the ensuing pandemonium would be comparable to the din these chicks create when they are out together. It doesn’t matter if it’s a posh restaurant or a little lingerie shop.

This story is based in a restaurant, because it’s more fun telling a story where there is lots of food around.
In the corner seat of the dinner table would be the littlest chick. She chose the corner because it is the most convenient place for her to dive into a sulk, at the slightest provocation. But let’s not be unfair, she has long since outgrown this particular habit, ever since we became “other chicks”. Next to her is the one who has no time for love. She opted (read demanded) to sit there because it’s just beneath the AC vent, the couch is just right, and the light from the chandelier doesn’t hurt her eyes. Nearest to the kitchen door is the one who only needs the smell of food to be “so stuffed”. Great for the one sitting opposite, more for her! Beside the hungry one is the one who made the flock late, so that they all missed the early bird’s worm. But don’t be mad at her, she had to set her feathers just so. There is a mirror opposite her, but hey! Don’t assume she sat there only for this. Actually it’s because the lighting here is perfect for photos. Beside the door is the chubby chick. She has to sit there so she can keep darting out to receive her numerous phone calls. Not because she wants privacy (or is it?) but mainly because BSNL has a strict ‘hang out of a window or walk around in the open trying to catch our signal’ policy.

At the table everything from shady hostel tai’s love to neighbour’s underwear is discussed. Don’t call us small-minded, sometimes we also talk about how our own lives and loves. And rarely, we even debate over how our wasting food affects African kids who are starving. (Sympathy lost for the Indian ones because they stick their fingers in our ice-cream, slap asses or even attack our car windows with stones!) The conversation only flags for a second, when the inevitable finally happens. The moment everyone knows is coming, but still praying doesn’t! But you can’t fight fate, and when Urvi does knock something over, we all do a Matrix move so it doesn’t land on us. The moment of embarrassed silence is broken by her squeal of glee and we just order another coke for her. After the bill has been settled by some trusty fingers and after-mints have been grabbed, its time to try and find a desert place!

But this flock is not all fun and games. Sometimes it’s a rough ride, especially when Dhannobuns is doing the riding! Or when you have to fight Lakshim for the front seat. And when you have to struggle not to choke to death laughing at D’s imitations of her pot-bellied professors. Some of the biggest challenges include convincing T to stop making absurd, high-pitched sounds when anyone mentions the name of a guy or making Urvi find time to fit us into her busy-bee high-society social calendar.

But that’s exactly why half a dozen eggs squashed together in a santro or an i10 going down a bumpy road make one great omlette!