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May the odds be ever in your favour...

 Rewatching the Hunger Games as an adult is making me wonder just how much inspiration the author took from Big4 consulting! Let me not be the one to call this revered career path, that affords sociopaths and sycophants alike the opportunity to enter any room believing they are the smartest person there, a total made-up fantasy. But the opening line by Katniss’ mentor and my firm-assigned “womentor” (a mentor for women leaders, obviously ) was uncannily similar – “You need to get people to like you”. Now this may sound quite obvious to many, but for a career “industry” type such as myself, it occurred to me quite late in my switch to consulting that getting people (your partner) to like you was much more important than the work you do, no matter the length and breadth of the KPIs mentioned on Workday. The second piece of Tribute à Victor knowledge imparted was, “you need to find sponsors”. I had in fact been informed of the same during my own Womentoring session. Up until then, I ...
Recent posts

Crabs in a Bucket

  In my 20s, I worked a lot more hours. It was physically, mentally, and even socially taxing — whether racing through mad timelines for events or whatever came in between those gigs. And yet, somehow, I seemed less exhausted. Maybe my memory is coloured by nostalgia, but the burnout I feel since joining consulting is constant — overwhelmingly numbing, paralyzingly draining, leaving me an anxious wreck. I think I used to be someone who was nonchalant about many things. Lately, life seems determined to teach me to worry about every possible and impossible outcome — and still be caught off guard. After over 2.5 years back in India, having joined Big 4 consulting, I am still aghast at the backstabbing, calculative, “this is normal in corporate” BS around me. I learned long ago that I can be naive, believing in the goodness of people — that I prefer to start from trust until someone proves me wrong, rather than the other way around. But consulting is a whole different ballgame. Wha...

Indias

  There is not just one India. And what I have been privileged to experience on my recent travels, there won’t be for a long time. What is it that we do every day in cities? We wake up to an alarm, not the sun or our body clock. We rush to get dressed for work or the gym or whatever is the first appointment of the day. We spend our day in a controlled, man-made environment – air conditioning, phone screens, buildings, traffic, emails and meetings. Two weeks away from this showed me something that I never truly knew about myself. I don’t dislike travel. Everyone is so gung-ho about travel and I always found it overrated. But that might be because for the 10 years I lived in Germany, travel for me meant visiting the city centre of another European city. Cute streets, a pretty church, a peaceful river flowing by, in essence a little “same same but different”. Without a car or a driving licence, those were the only trips I managed to plan. Of everything that I saw in two weeks of...

Uncles & Eclipses

  Just as there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is sometimes an eclipse during the brightest night. From the Beti Bachao campaign slogans painted on city walls to our female athletes outperforming the men, we talk a lot about progress in society. Yet my recent encounters with the quintessential uncles of the middle class have been teaching me that our society is still far from accepting a woman who is independent and has an opinion. My joy at finally finding a new flat that suited my needs was soon marred by the drama of the move-out process. The landlord—who not only lied that I hadn’t given enough notice but also invented multiple reasons to withhold my deposit—was a case study in arrogance. It wasn’t just the blatant greed and lying that irked me; it was the disrespectful way I was treated and spoken to. This so-called “ex-army officer” spoke over and down to me the entire time, interrupting every sentence with condescension and irritation that I dared question hi...

The Middle

 The folly of youth to the wisdom of old age. Passion to practicality. Erratic speed to steady progress. Tortured love to deep bonds. Anger to acceptance. Somewhere in between lies the resilience of middle age. (I hope the early stage of middle age, but as I count the grey hairs in my mirror, I know this battle could go either way). I play pickleball with my team, try to keep up with their youth, the energy. Does it make me feel younger or just old? I can’t drink like a fish anymore, my body knows it even though my mind may forget it sometimes, especially post 4 drinks. Routines now not only excite me; they are like the best friend that my body needs to feel its mediocre best.   Back pains creep up if I skip more than 3 days of the gym. Being a woman is a cruel fight against a “ticking clock” of what society thinks I must have achieved by now. But oh, the resilience of middle age gets me through! I may not be wise yet, but I am wise enough to know that if...

Emergency Exit

Do we ever really pay attention to the safety briefing before the flight? And if we do, is it because we want to be polite to the demonstrating air staff or because we truly believe that there may be a time when we would need to recall this information and act on it, and it could save our lives? I think about this as I sit in the safety of my home, fresh after a spectacular Sunday afternoon nap, right before I sink into the pre-Monday slump. I went through my twenties not really knowing why people got so grumpy about Mondays, what a decadent privilege that was. As I watched S4 of “The Bear”, I realised that though my mother didn’t drive a car through the living room (would be tough as we live on the 10th floor), but I do share some  PTSD with Carmie. The journey of healing from the daily humiliation and berating that comes from having a narcissist, toxic boss is longer than I anticipated. In fact, I seem to have only survived because of deep, deep denial of how bad things wer...

Transitions

I read that the world is changing, theatrics and chaos now trump logic. I’m told that the planets are realigning, bringing more prosperous times. I hear the winds of change at home and at work. How do we maintain our compass when everything around is moving? How do we find our North. Mediator at home and leader at work, without much credit in either role, it feels like a boat without a bottom. Tough shoes to fill, huge shadow to outshine, is it even worth the fight? No vote of confidence, campaigning without a seat, is it self worth that’s missing? A life plan in jeopardy, the wait is never ending.   And yet, there’s decks to be made, documents to be reviewed, Relationships to manage, chores to be completed. Is the busy-ness an escape, a way to fill the void? Or is it acceptance that life is not problems devoid... Is it in the moments between those milestones, Discovering a new song or great book, an evening with a friend or a call with a few, Eating t...