alice's peephole

I cant create mystical creatures that enthrall audiences. I cant sing epoch making stories of hapless lovers. I haven’t yet designed a new funky car. Heck, I cant even paint my bloody wall. Why is it that I want the very things I cant have? Why is it that I always want to be where I cant? Why do I always want more? Why am I always dreaming of better? Don’t try to console me. Don’t try to show me others are worse off. Because my pain is my very own, mine alone. You cant make it go away. But you can make it better. So just tell me what I must do. And tell me all I need to hear. Tell me that I’m not alone, That in loneliness we are all together

A job-hunt is like an interval at a movie. And when the first half has been so great that you find yourself at the edge of your seat, then the pressure’s really on! Being back in Pune after 7 months- it feels really weird. Considering that I’ve called it home for 21 years, it’s confusing to feel miss another city like you can only miss ‘home’. Physically, nothing has changed in Pune. Fergusson College road is still run over by students; MG and KP still have the same hang-outs. Yet it doesn’t feel the same- to me. Within a few hours of getting home, I jumped on my bike and rode all around Aundh. Soon i found myself at 'Vaish' along with my friends, all of us connoisseurs of their legendary South-indian and batata wadas. Not that Delhi doesnt have idli-sambar joints, it just isn't the same when the idli is soaked in ghee like a 'prantha' and sambar is so spicy that it makes your nose run. 10 minutes of waiting for a table, being nudged aside by impatient waiters, resi...

Venue Specific Training- 1st September was the first time I stepped into the huge, dusty, confusing mess that was to be the Commonwealth Games Village. It was love at first site, (pun intended) I knew I could overlook the very apparent shortcomings and ignore the problems caused by missed deadlines as long as I was part of this venue- that would be completely transformed in the coming month. Eventually I even spent a night at the village. Sent there to test the residential facilities, I ended up spending the night playing football, making a new friend and avoiding a strange man. It was beautiful at night, calm, serene and yet full of activity. The metro ran up and down and as the night wore on eventually it stopped. Dust settled down and room lights flickered out. It was quiet as death, but not at all scary. It was blue. I was in charge of the countdown on the white-board in my department. And when it came to 4 days to go- I was literally jumping about in excitement. In just 4 days th...

A German saying goes like so – ‘ Du bist auf die Erde allein gekommen’. Literally translated it means ‘you were born alone’ (so be prepared to spend your life alone). Well, this particular German must have been one sour bugger, so I will reject his lousy philosophy. Let me tell you the story of 6 little eggs that did hatch separately, but found each other as soon as they could walk. And they stuck together even after they learnt to fly. If you locked a bull in a china shop, and threw in an elephant and a troll, the ensuing pandemonium would be comparable to the din these chicks create when they are out together. It doesn’t matter if it’s a posh restaurant or a little lingerie shop. This story is based in a restaurant, because it’s more fun telling a story where there is lots of food around. In the corner seat of the dinner table would be the littlest chick. She chose the corner because it is the most convenient place for her to dive into a sulk, at the slightest provocation. But let’s ...

It’s an ‘All-India Bandh’ to protest ‘mehengai’. Now call me slow, but I do fail to see how breaking bus windows and burning shops will reduce prices. Maybe the Government should keep subsidizing fuel prices, so that the ‘common man’ who owns 3 gas-guzzlers does not face any problems. Maybe he will even start eating less now, so that wheat prices miraculously fall. If only there was some way to educate our barely literate politicians. (I say this assuming they are interested in anything but vote banks, which is not likely.) If only they stopped to wonder why wheat prices have rocketed this year, in spite of a rise in world wheat production. Somehow I think shaking your fists at TV cameras and wrenching women off local trains is more fun than learning about derivatives and how it is affecting our country’s poor. I look around me. I look back at my childhood. There are poseurs everywhere. Authoritarianism in schools. Sexism in pubs. Racism in cricket. Honour killings to uphold our cultur...

It’s a jungle out here! And if Darwin is anyone to go by, only the fittest will survive. And here’s where the confusion begins- does this atmosphere of cut-throat competition give us the moral go-ahead to claw our way to the lead of the pack? Stomp on competitors and change lanes midway? Did you know that if you leave a bunch of live crabs in a bucket, you can be assured that when you get back from watching the FIFA finals, they will all still be there? Every one of them! That’s because as soon as one gets close to escape, the others pull it down. And Darwinians may go further and say that at the end of the match, only the toughest one will still be alive enough to pinch you when you try to fish it out of the bucket. Big cities remind me of this proverbial bucket. It starts early in the day, when you try to find a rickshaw to take you to work. A layman would be tempted to believe that these guys want to transport passengers from A to B, and make some money. Oh! How I pity these fools! ...

I’d heard the Bhutnese are very hospitable. It sure didn’t feel that way when I hit my head on the doorframe at the airport. It seemed to be specially designed to take out the invading giants in Lilliput-land. But any annimosity that was knocked into my head with that bump, was soon knocked right back out. Its hard to stay mad at these mild-mannered people, with their expressive hands and graceful attire. (Although I will shamefully admit that I was close to administering my revenge by stealing a couple of their adorable babies. Luckily for them, the prayer flags must have influenced me to ditch the evil plans.) Growing up in a confused, confusing and conflicted country like mine, being religious is often mixed up with being a fanatic. For the first time, I saw a very different picture up close. A country crowded with prayer wheels, every door adorned by luck symbols and monastries dotting the countryside…. And yet so modern in its outlook. A sense pride in their culture gives them the...

I wouldn’t have thought it possible to experience so many emotions at the same time.. I thought that happened only in romance novels, where the innocent teenage girl is confused and the boy doesn’t know how to get the attention of the bug-eyed tutor. But that was before this week. Before I took my very first flight alone, said goodbye to everything familiar and comfortable. Everything I’ve known since I was a little girl. It’s scary. It’s scary to see your parents not even attempt a watery smile when they see you off at the airport. Scary to watch watch your friends ride off, not knowing when you’ll see them again. Petrifying to get into a taxi in a new city, and hope you can find your new home. But there’s always solace in the grey. I found mine when I saw a hoarding right outside the airport. It said “Welcome to Delhi”, underneath was a little tiger, Shera, the mascot for the CWG 2010. This was the event I had been waiting for, for the last 2 years. This was the city of fast cars and...