Skip to main content

That “fuzzy feeling”

To all the girls out there – everyone – those who are in love, looking for love or falling out of love. For there can be no 4th category. Most of us are a species that easily believes, easily loves and sometimes just as easily fights for love.

I am not a pessimist or a cynic. I am you. I want to remember that I should choose someone worthy of my love. I need to drive away the fear of being alone. Tell society to screw itself. I need to keep hope alive that someday the right person will come along. And he will treat me well. He will hold me when I’m weak, hug me when I’m cold and laugh with me when I’m silly. He will understand all my faults, for there are many. He will know how lucky he is to have me. Me, for my compassion. Me, for my support. Me, for my love. He will wake up each day willing to fight to be with me. He will not hesitate to defend me or ask for my help. He will not let anyone get in our way. For it is our path to walk. Our life to lead. Our children to raise. Our love to protect.


Many times before we find this, we will fall. We will fail. The world will come crashing down about us. There will be long winters and lonely nights. But in the pervading darkness, I want to remember – at this time, if he isn’t by my side, then I am better off without him. In time, memories will fade. Time will heal. Life will go on. I wont let it go by. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Dam - Part II

The easiest way to describe what’s underneath the calm watery surface of this dam is to list all the little rivulets of emotions flowing in from various directions. At the very top of the emotional pyramid, is complete peace and contentment. I have everything I need to be comfortable right now, the most important being time and energy. Many of my days consist primarily of working out, napping, cooking, seeing friends and reading. I can feel my burn out healing, I will soon be ready to tackle this next chapter, which is sure to be challenging. While there is a small part of me that is impatient, nay, eager to start, I am enjoying every moment of this hiatus. Below the surface though, saying goodbyes is heart-wrenching and every new memory created comes with a tinge of longing and nostalgia. Whether it is seeing off my closest friend at the train station, or playing with my friends’ babies, each simple act now comes with so many emotions. It’s the river of “the lasts”. Over the pas
Post a Comment
Read more

The last one

  This is the last one, and then I’ll stop. I’m not really addicted, its just good for me right now. Its what I need right now. I can stop whenever I want. One more event, that’s what we tell ourselves. Always the last event, before settling down into a respectable, predictable life. At my very first job at the CWG Delhi 2010, I envied my Greek boss. He was in Delhi for 3-4 years, to make sure that the contingency relations and services department was running according to industry standard. I thought of his wife and 2 kids, and imagined it must be exciting to live in a new city like Delhi, and move to a new place every 4 years, to have a truly international upbringing. To be honest, I still do. I envy the travelling circus. But as a 33-year-old woman, I hesitate to jump headlong into a life of semi-permanency. I ask myself whether I really have what it takes. I question whether my relationships will withstand the periodic disappearances that coincide with every operations mode.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dam – Part I

  In March 2023 I had the privilege to make a decision to change my life. After job hunting for months, I landed 2 vastly different roles in 2 different countries. I coincidentally, seemingly fatefully, received the job offers on the same day. It was a decision I wasn’t about to take lightly, and even though I knew in my gut what I wanted, it took some negotiating, researching and convincing to make it. In 2014, when I boarded a Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt, I had more faith in humanity and optimism bordering on naivete. I was younger and more foolish than I am now. I was hungry to learn and grow professionally. In 2023, I turn back a little wiser, a little more beaten by life, still hungry to learn and grow. Someone asked me why I decided to leave after having fought so hard to be here. “Because I don’t want to fight so hard anymore”, I answered instantly, the words coming from somewhere deep in my soul before my mind had a chance to think about it. Being a foreigner and woman of c
Post a Comment
Read more